So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
