you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
