talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
