What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
