every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
