Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
