I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
