My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
