Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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