I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He shit in the fireplace
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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