Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Terrible idea I love it
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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