Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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