That's when you crack a 10am beer
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize