She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
