Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
