After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
