any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
that may or may not have been my penis.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
