I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
