your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
