she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
