I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
