I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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