I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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