How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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