so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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