I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
