i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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