doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
