Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
