Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
