drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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