Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
