You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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