i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
