I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
