If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
