Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
