You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
