i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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