Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
