I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
