I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My vagina just clenched in fear
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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