So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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