those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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