there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
