I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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