Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
