I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
