How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
