i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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