and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
