Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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