I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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