I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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