cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
