Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
