he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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