You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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