I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
be right there i have to get my cape
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
