I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
