Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize