he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
