chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
