come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
