I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
