part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
