I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
